am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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