I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Mom said you looked used
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
