Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
