I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
