If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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