i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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