Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
