Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
