Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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