oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
