bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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