if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
