i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
