3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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