I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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