i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
