and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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