you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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