And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
