i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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