my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
