I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
In other news, I just burned my penis
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
