Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
