I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
