I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
