Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
