What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
