i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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