Barsexuality is the new black.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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