i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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