You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
