Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
