they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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