Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
