Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now

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(571): View more from Virginia

Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.

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(519): View more from Ontario

mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing

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(807): View more from Ontario

I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.

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(301): View more from Maryland

A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting

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(951): View more from California

Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?

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