i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
