he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
