im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
