She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
