I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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