yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He felt like a one man threesome
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
