Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
