I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize