His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize