so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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