I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
