If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
