On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
