Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
