Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
