you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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