oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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