I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize