I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
