I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
