I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
