you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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