My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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