youre lurking in front of me
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i've created a new STD.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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