i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
