Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
