i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
