i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
