Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
