remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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