Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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