Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Two words: blizzard sex
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
