If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
