using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
