So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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