He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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