Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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